I know that this is a healthy lifestyle blog, but this post will deviate from that theme. But, I feel it’s something I need to write.
Back in May we were so very excited to hear that my brother-in-law and his wife were going to have a baby. Actually two babies….identical twins. Any birth is something to celebrate, however, these babies would be the only souls on earth to call me Aunt and my boys’ Cousin. I was even more excited because this was right before I was to move up here with the boys so we would be here when they were born in December. We’d be here to watch her belly grow, be here to throw a baby shower, and be here right after the birth so I could breathe in all their newborn deliciousness.
I was even more excited about a month ago when they found out that the babies were going to be boys. Awesome …. two more little boys in the family. I imagined the family get-togethers with four little boys running around playing.
Everyday, I fell more in love with them and I was so excited to meet my nephews.
Well, as I’m sure you can already guess, we heard this morning that those sweet boys didn’t make it. We are all heartbroken over it. None more than my brother-in-law and his wife. I cannot even fathom the pain they are feeling. Especially her. There is just something about being a Mommy and seeing ultrasounds of the life growing inside of you, and ultimately feeling them move around. You can’t help but fall in love with them. They are a part of you. And now, because she was too far along for a DNC, she has to have labor induced so that she can ‘birth’ the two dead babies. I’ve done it twice, labor is no fun. But you go through it, because you get the sweet reward of your baby at the end.
I haven’t even really been able to properly cry for these little guys yet, because I’ve been trying to stay strong for my in-laws who are completely devastated by the news. I have listened to a few songs that help me keep some perspective when bad things happen. Music has always been very therapeutic for me.
Just know little ones, that your whole family misses you and loves you and I’ll still hold you one day. It will just be in Heaven instead of here on Earth. Rest in peace sweet angels. I know I’m not alone in saying that, I love you, and I will not forget you.